Oh my word!! I haven't posted in what feels like FOREVER!!!
There is a lot that has happened over the past few weeks...I wish I could say it was good, I wish I could say it was happy, I wish I could say that I didn't slip into a depression like I've never been in before...I wish I could say I didn't give up on eating well and exercising... but unfortunately, I can't tell you a single one of those things...
It was bad, it wasn't a happy time, I did slip into a saddened state of depression that I have NEVER experienced before and pray I NEVER will again, and I have not exercised one single day since the last time I posted that I did...I have also been eating VERY badly...
I was at a point in my life that just living every day was to grasp at the grace of Jesus and beg Him to get me through the next hour...
I am doing much better now. I'd like to share about what happened but I'm not ready to open up about all of it...
I think I want to simply blog again and just chatter about the small things in life. When I begin to undertake the weight loss challenge again I think I will keep it to myself and maybe share just some updates here and there...
LORD willing I will be back tomorrow to tell you some cute little things that I am enjoying in life right now :D
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Day #9 ~ Birthday Cake
Every year from March 15th to June 3rd is Birthday Season for me. I kid you not, there are 21 family and friend's birthdays that are celebrated in that less-than-three-month time span. Out of those 21 people I will have at least 14 birthday cakes. Oh my WORD!! Trust me, by the time June 3rd rolls around I am begging my husband to pick a pie that he wants because I'm so SICK of eating cake!!
I obviously cannot indulge in EVERY piece of cake, because even with my "Eat a food I adore 2x a week" rule in effect I will have to skip some pieces. The birthdays and birthday parties are not evenly spaced so it just happens. I have to head into my week with the cakes of choice laid out mentally before me. Some decisions are hard, and some not-so-hard. I can also change my mind at the last min. So if that cake looks better than it tastes I can politely swallow the first bite and then be done...or in the case of the last party I went to, spit the cake into a napkin!!! It was BAD!!!! UGH!!!!
So tonight will be another time for cake. I'm looking forward to it :D I'll have all the yummy details for you tomorrow!!
p.s. Ice cream cake is ALWAYS good! You really can't screw that up!!
~Mmmmmmm, Fudgy the Whale!!!~
I obviously cannot indulge in EVERY piece of cake, because even with my "Eat a food I adore 2x a week" rule in effect I will have to skip some pieces. The birthdays and birthday parties are not evenly spaced so it just happens. I have to head into my week with the cakes of choice laid out mentally before me. Some decisions are hard, and some not-so-hard. I can also change my mind at the last min. So if that cake looks better than it tastes I can politely swallow the first bite and then be done...or in the case of the last party I went to, spit the cake into a napkin!!! It was BAD!!!! UGH!!!!
So tonight will be another time for cake. I'm looking forward to it :D I'll have all the yummy details for you tomorrow!!
p.s. Ice cream cake is ALWAYS good! You really can't screw that up!!
~Mmmmmmm, Fudgy the Whale!!!~
Monday, May 6, 2013
Day #8 ~ Cravings
Oh my WORD!!! I am having SUCH cravings today. I don't think that typing them out will help, but maybe if I go through it I can get over it!
-Donuts: I want a fresh, still-warm-from-the-cooker, cream spilling out, chocolate frosting slightly melting off the top, Boston Creme donut from Dunkin Donuts!! Now mind you, I've only had a donut with that perfect description ONCE in my entire life. Usually they have been sitting there a while. They're still GOOD, don't get me wrong, but I would LOVE to eat like 8 of those perfectly awesome donuts...
-Chicken McNuggets: Hey, I'm still sick so I've STILL got the McDonald's cravings going on...
-Ice Cream: I want chocolate chip mint ice cream with gobs of hot fudge and super yummy whipped cream and cherry... or I want chocolate peanut butter ice cream with gobs of hot fudge, melted peanut butter, whipped cream, cherry, Resses Pieces and a Resses peanut butter cup on the side!
-Brownies from Whole Foods: 'Nuff said. They're brownies from Whole Foods...and they're good!!!! Just beware, they give you major poops!!!
-Caramel Apples: Mmmmmmmm!! So sweet and sugary! Yummo!!
-Chewy bread with spinach dip: This is a specialty item that I make for family parties, and today I happen to be craving it!!!
-Steak and Lobster: It's not that fattening and I can, in fact, have it, however it is QUITE pricey so I will not be having that any time soon! haha!
I will RESIST every one of these things!!! I will however perhaps refer to this when I need a Food I Adore next time =]
~WOW!!!!!!~
-Donuts: I want a fresh, still-warm-from-the-cooker, cream spilling out, chocolate frosting slightly melting off the top, Boston Creme donut from Dunkin Donuts!! Now mind you, I've only had a donut with that perfect description ONCE in my entire life. Usually they have been sitting there a while. They're still GOOD, don't get me wrong, but I would LOVE to eat like 8 of those perfectly awesome donuts...
-Chicken McNuggets: Hey, I'm still sick so I've STILL got the McDonald's cravings going on...
-Ice Cream: I want chocolate chip mint ice cream with gobs of hot fudge and super yummy whipped cream and cherry... or I want chocolate peanut butter ice cream with gobs of hot fudge, melted peanut butter, whipped cream, cherry, Resses Pieces and a Resses peanut butter cup on the side!
-Brownies from Whole Foods: 'Nuff said. They're brownies from Whole Foods...and they're good!!!! Just beware, they give you major poops!!!
-Caramel Apples: Mmmmmmmm!! So sweet and sugary! Yummo!!
-Chewy bread with spinach dip: This is a specialty item that I make for family parties, and today I happen to be craving it!!!
-Steak and Lobster: It's not that fattening and I can, in fact, have it, however it is QUITE pricey so I will not be having that any time soon! haha!
I will RESIST every one of these things!!! I will however perhaps refer to this when I need a Food I Adore next time =]
Sunday, May 5, 2013
Day #7 ~ The Boring Part of Sick
It's that time of your sickness that can be the most annoying. You still don't feel well but you're starting to get, or already ARE, bored out of your mind!! TV, Netflix, HuluPlus, Youtube, laptop, Pintrest, and yes, even Blogger have all run their course and you just don't feel like staring at the 4 walls of the room your in anymore. You want to get up, get out, get with something else, anything else!!!
The problem? You still have ZERO energy and everything takes way too much effort! Your brain is functioning at nearly 100% but your body is still schlumping around mustering only a whopping 15%, and that's just to get you from the recliner or bed to the bathroom or refrigerator.
Case in point: My brain looks at the carpet in the TV room, play room, and living room. It needs to be vacuumed. It missed it's Friday vacuuming and needs it DESPERATELY. My brain tells me I can do it...I walk to the vacuum in the laundry room and by the time that I arrive I barely have enough energy to wheel it out. The vacuum stays put and back to my recliner I go..
That is so frustrating for me!!
...and so I must tell myself...
April, you're not Wonder Woman. You're no lazy, you're sick. Stay put and get well.
A picture of what I'm looking forward to in December:
~Love me some Rockin' Roller Coaster!!~
The problem? You still have ZERO energy and everything takes way too much effort! Your brain is functioning at nearly 100% but your body is still schlumping around mustering only a whopping 15%, and that's just to get you from the recliner or bed to the bathroom or refrigerator.
Case in point: My brain looks at the carpet in the TV room, play room, and living room. It needs to be vacuumed. It missed it's Friday vacuuming and needs it DESPERATELY. My brain tells me I can do it...I walk to the vacuum in the laundry room and by the time that I arrive I barely have enough energy to wheel it out. The vacuum stays put and back to my recliner I go..
That is so frustrating for me!!
...and so I must tell myself...
April, you're not Wonder Woman. You're no lazy, you're sick. Stay put and get well.
A picture of what I'm looking forward to in December:
Saturday, May 4, 2013
Day #6 ~ Eating while Sick
The year is 1988. Little 9 year old me is not feeling well. I have a bad cold, a wretched cough, or a fever. I stay home from school. Mom let's me sleep in and then brings me toast with butter on it and a nice tall glass of orange juice. She then sets up blankets and pillows on the couch in the living room in front of the TV so that I can watch cartoons and a slew of game shows. For lunch she brings me a bowl of Campbell's chicken noodle soup, a package of saltine crackers, and some ginger ale. In the afternoon I move into my brother's room (because only soaps are on, we didn't have cable) and lay in his bed playing video games. At 3 o'clock I'm back out at the couch for cartoons. Daddy comes home from work and dotes on me to see if I need anything. That is the LIFE!!! And for dinner?? Mom or Dad runs out, especially for me to get McDonald's chicken nuggets and some french fries....
When I'm sick I want 3 things: Mommy to take care of me, Daddy to check on me, and McDonald's to comfort me...
Since the first two are no longer an option, with my parents being in Heaven and all, McDonald's wins out EVERY time!
The moment I start to not feel 100% I want a Big Mac, large fry, and a huge Coke. Or maybe a 20 piece nuggets, large fry, and a super sized orange drink...No matter what combination, McDonald's is what I require to feel better.
Yesterday was no exception.
During the week I allow myself to have two opportunities to eat food that I adore. This can be anything from double chocolate brownie cake with a scoop of triple chocolate chunk ice cream or a fresh-from-the-bakery canoli with extra cream and chocolate chips on the side.
I only have two rules: It has to be something that I ADORE (you will not find me splurging on the pudding at the local Chinese buffet) and I have to eat enough of it to be satisfied. In other words, I will not get the dessert and take one bite and then beat myself up over it insisting that I shouldn't finish it...BUT, I also don't necessarily finish the entire dessert either. I eat until I feel happy. Whether that's half of it or the whole thing :D
It has worked very well in the past and I'm fairly certain it will work just the same now!
So yesterday, with my bronchitis, I had McDonald's. Some yummy Angus wraps and a med order of awesome fries! And it was GOOOOOD!!!!
Today, despite how it takes all of my energy to walk from my recliner to the bathroom, I am feeling very well in regards to my weight. I miss exercising and running, but I understand that I need to recover fully before heading back out to run. I certainly do NOT want to wind up in the hospital so I will take it S-L-O-W...My outlook for next week is as follows:
-Sunday: rest all day. No church, no lunch with Haines'.
-Mon: If still coughing, no exercise
-Tues: WALK one mile at track
-Wed: 15 min leg lifts, squats, crunches (if I don't get winded)
-Thurs: WALK one mile or more at track
-Fri: Evaluate bronchitis and cough to possibly resume running.
For today I plan to continue to make good choices despite my crazy urge to send Jimmy to McDonald's again!!
When I'm sick I want 3 things: Mommy to take care of me, Daddy to check on me, and McDonald's to comfort me...
Since the first two are no longer an option, with my parents being in Heaven and all, McDonald's wins out EVERY time!
The moment I start to not feel 100% I want a Big Mac, large fry, and a huge Coke. Or maybe a 20 piece nuggets, large fry, and a super sized orange drink...No matter what combination, McDonald's is what I require to feel better.
Yesterday was no exception.
During the week I allow myself to have two opportunities to eat food that I adore. This can be anything from double chocolate brownie cake with a scoop of triple chocolate chunk ice cream or a fresh-from-the-bakery canoli with extra cream and chocolate chips on the side.
I only have two rules: It has to be something that I ADORE (you will not find me splurging on the pudding at the local Chinese buffet) and I have to eat enough of it to be satisfied. In other words, I will not get the dessert and take one bite and then beat myself up over it insisting that I shouldn't finish it...BUT, I also don't necessarily finish the entire dessert either. I eat until I feel happy. Whether that's half of it or the whole thing :D
It has worked very well in the past and I'm fairly certain it will work just the same now!
So yesterday, with my bronchitis, I had McDonald's. Some yummy Angus wraps and a med order of awesome fries! And it was GOOOOOD!!!!
Today, despite how it takes all of my energy to walk from my recliner to the bathroom, I am feeling very well in regards to my weight. I miss exercising and running, but I understand that I need to recover fully before heading back out to run. I certainly do NOT want to wind up in the hospital so I will take it S-L-O-W...My outlook for next week is as follows:
-Sunday: rest all day. No church, no lunch with Haines'.
-Mon: If still coughing, no exercise
-Tues: WALK one mile at track
-Wed: 15 min leg lifts, squats, crunches (if I don't get winded)
-Thurs: WALK one mile or more at track
-Fri: Evaluate bronchitis and cough to possibly resume running.
For today I plan to continue to make good choices despite my crazy urge to send Jimmy to McDonald's again!!
Friday, May 3, 2013
Day #5 ~Bronchitis
Need I say more?
Coughing and pain...QVC and recliner....cough drops and naps...
UGH!!!
Coughing and pain...QVC and recliner....cough drops and naps...
UGH!!!
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Day #4 ~ Weigh In
There's something about Weigh In Day that is so excitingly-annoyingly -scary. You get excites to see how much weight you've lost and you hope it's a lot but then you tell yourself aloud that it's not going to be that much just so you can be happier when it IS a lot! It's silly, I know, but I'm one of those girls that does that! :X
...and today didn't disappoint! I was hoping for a significant weight loss and told myself it would probably be like 3-4 pounds lost (knowing it would be more) and I was VERY happy when I stepped on and saw the number!
But, before I get to how much I lost I just want to tell you that if you're reading this you are one of the FEW people in this entire world that I am willing to tell my weight to. Oh,I don't mind blabbing how much I USED to weigh AFTER the weight loss, but BEFORE the weight loss I don't exactly go around declaring it. So if you're reading this you should feel very honored that I would share this with you, haha!
When I started this I weighed in at a whopping 272.6 pounds, and trust me I was on my way UP!!
This morning I stepped on to see 264.4!!! That's an 8.2 pounds drop!! I was elated!!! I still am!!
I realize that people say, "It was WATER weight, but hey, our bodies are 70% WATER, and weight is well, WEIGHT!! It's weight that I LOST, it counts :D
I realize that next week will probably not be quite so dramatic, and I'm okay with that. I'm headed in the right direction and that's the important thing!!
*I'm sorry I cannot post a Before and Now picture. I will attempt to do that once a week on Thursdays but today I have a cold settling into my chest and I honestly don't have any energy to get up and take one...plus my sister has my START photo and what's the point of showing the Now picture if I haven't posted the Before one yet!! LOL!!*
So instead I'm going to go look up a random photo to show you...
~I just LOVE water with lemon!~
...and today didn't disappoint! I was hoping for a significant weight loss and told myself it would probably be like 3-4 pounds lost (knowing it would be more) and I was VERY happy when I stepped on and saw the number!
But, before I get to how much I lost I just want to tell you that if you're reading this you are one of the FEW people in this entire world that I am willing to tell my weight to. Oh,I don't mind blabbing how much I USED to weigh AFTER the weight loss, but BEFORE the weight loss I don't exactly go around declaring it. So if you're reading this you should feel very honored that I would share this with you, haha!
When I started this I weighed in at a whopping 272.6 pounds, and trust me I was on my way UP!!
This morning I stepped on to see 264.4!!! That's an 8.2 pounds drop!! I was elated!!! I still am!!
I realize that people say, "It was WATER weight, but hey, our bodies are 70% WATER, and weight is well, WEIGHT!! It's weight that I LOST, it counts :D
I realize that next week will probably not be quite so dramatic, and I'm okay with that. I'm headed in the right direction and that's the important thing!!
*I'm sorry I cannot post a Before and Now picture. I will attempt to do that once a week on Thursdays but today I have a cold settling into my chest and I honestly don't have any energy to get up and take one...plus my sister has my START photo and what's the point of showing the Now picture if I haven't posted the Before one yet!! LOL!!*
So instead I'm going to go look up a random photo to show you...
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