Oh my word!! I haven't posted in what feels like FOREVER!!!
There is a lot that has happened over the past few weeks...I wish I could say it was good, I wish I could say it was happy, I wish I could say that I didn't slip into a depression like I've never been in before...I wish I could say I didn't give up on eating well and exercising... but unfortunately, I can't tell you a single one of those things...
It was bad, it wasn't a happy time, I did slip into a saddened state of depression that I have NEVER experienced before and pray I NEVER will again, and I have not exercised one single day since the last time I posted that I did...I have also been eating VERY badly...
I was at a point in my life that just living every day was to grasp at the grace of Jesus and beg Him to get me through the next hour...
I am doing much better now. I'd like to share about what happened but I'm not ready to open up about all of it...
I think I want to simply blog again and just chatter about the small things in life. When I begin to undertake the weight loss challenge again I think I will keep it to myself and maybe share just some updates here and there...
LORD willing I will be back tomorrow to tell you some cute little things that I am enjoying in life right now :D
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Day #9 ~ Birthday Cake
Every year from March 15th to June 3rd is Birthday Season for me. I kid you not, there are 21 family and friend's birthdays that are celebrated in that less-than-three-month time span. Out of those 21 people I will have at least 14 birthday cakes. Oh my WORD!! Trust me, by the time June 3rd rolls around I am begging my husband to pick a pie that he wants because I'm so SICK of eating cake!!
I obviously cannot indulge in EVERY piece of cake, because even with my "Eat a food I adore 2x a week" rule in effect I will have to skip some pieces. The birthdays and birthday parties are not evenly spaced so it just happens. I have to head into my week with the cakes of choice laid out mentally before me. Some decisions are hard, and some not-so-hard. I can also change my mind at the last min. So if that cake looks better than it tastes I can politely swallow the first bite and then be done...or in the case of the last party I went to, spit the cake into a napkin!!! It was BAD!!!! UGH!!!!
So tonight will be another time for cake. I'm looking forward to it :D I'll have all the yummy details for you tomorrow!!
p.s. Ice cream cake is ALWAYS good! You really can't screw that up!!
~Mmmmmmm, Fudgy the Whale!!!~
I obviously cannot indulge in EVERY piece of cake, because even with my "Eat a food I adore 2x a week" rule in effect I will have to skip some pieces. The birthdays and birthday parties are not evenly spaced so it just happens. I have to head into my week with the cakes of choice laid out mentally before me. Some decisions are hard, and some not-so-hard. I can also change my mind at the last min. So if that cake looks better than it tastes I can politely swallow the first bite and then be done...or in the case of the last party I went to, spit the cake into a napkin!!! It was BAD!!!! UGH!!!!
So tonight will be another time for cake. I'm looking forward to it :D I'll have all the yummy details for you tomorrow!!
p.s. Ice cream cake is ALWAYS good! You really can't screw that up!!
~Mmmmmmm, Fudgy the Whale!!!~
Monday, May 6, 2013
Day #8 ~ Cravings
Oh my WORD!!! I am having SUCH cravings today. I don't think that typing them out will help, but maybe if I go through it I can get over it!
-Donuts: I want a fresh, still-warm-from-the-cooker, cream spilling out, chocolate frosting slightly melting off the top, Boston Creme donut from Dunkin Donuts!! Now mind you, I've only had a donut with that perfect description ONCE in my entire life. Usually they have been sitting there a while. They're still GOOD, don't get me wrong, but I would LOVE to eat like 8 of those perfectly awesome donuts...
-Chicken McNuggets: Hey, I'm still sick so I've STILL got the McDonald's cravings going on...
-Ice Cream: I want chocolate chip mint ice cream with gobs of hot fudge and super yummy whipped cream and cherry... or I want chocolate peanut butter ice cream with gobs of hot fudge, melted peanut butter, whipped cream, cherry, Resses Pieces and a Resses peanut butter cup on the side!
-Brownies from Whole Foods: 'Nuff said. They're brownies from Whole Foods...and they're good!!!! Just beware, they give you major poops!!!
-Caramel Apples: Mmmmmmmm!! So sweet and sugary! Yummo!!
-Chewy bread with spinach dip: This is a specialty item that I make for family parties, and today I happen to be craving it!!!
-Steak and Lobster: It's not that fattening and I can, in fact, have it, however it is QUITE pricey so I will not be having that any time soon! haha!
I will RESIST every one of these things!!! I will however perhaps refer to this when I need a Food I Adore next time =]
~WOW!!!!!!~
-Donuts: I want a fresh, still-warm-from-the-cooker, cream spilling out, chocolate frosting slightly melting off the top, Boston Creme donut from Dunkin Donuts!! Now mind you, I've only had a donut with that perfect description ONCE in my entire life. Usually they have been sitting there a while. They're still GOOD, don't get me wrong, but I would LOVE to eat like 8 of those perfectly awesome donuts...
-Chicken McNuggets: Hey, I'm still sick so I've STILL got the McDonald's cravings going on...
-Ice Cream: I want chocolate chip mint ice cream with gobs of hot fudge and super yummy whipped cream and cherry... or I want chocolate peanut butter ice cream with gobs of hot fudge, melted peanut butter, whipped cream, cherry, Resses Pieces and a Resses peanut butter cup on the side!
-Brownies from Whole Foods: 'Nuff said. They're brownies from Whole Foods...and they're good!!!! Just beware, they give you major poops!!!
-Caramel Apples: Mmmmmmmm!! So sweet and sugary! Yummo!!
-Chewy bread with spinach dip: This is a specialty item that I make for family parties, and today I happen to be craving it!!!
-Steak and Lobster: It's not that fattening and I can, in fact, have it, however it is QUITE pricey so I will not be having that any time soon! haha!
I will RESIST every one of these things!!! I will however perhaps refer to this when I need a Food I Adore next time =]
Sunday, May 5, 2013
Day #7 ~ The Boring Part of Sick
It's that time of your sickness that can be the most annoying. You still don't feel well but you're starting to get, or already ARE, bored out of your mind!! TV, Netflix, HuluPlus, Youtube, laptop, Pintrest, and yes, even Blogger have all run their course and you just don't feel like staring at the 4 walls of the room your in anymore. You want to get up, get out, get with something else, anything else!!!
The problem? You still have ZERO energy and everything takes way too much effort! Your brain is functioning at nearly 100% but your body is still schlumping around mustering only a whopping 15%, and that's just to get you from the recliner or bed to the bathroom or refrigerator.
Case in point: My brain looks at the carpet in the TV room, play room, and living room. It needs to be vacuumed. It missed it's Friday vacuuming and needs it DESPERATELY. My brain tells me I can do it...I walk to the vacuum in the laundry room and by the time that I arrive I barely have enough energy to wheel it out. The vacuum stays put and back to my recliner I go..
That is so frustrating for me!!
...and so I must tell myself...
April, you're not Wonder Woman. You're no lazy, you're sick. Stay put and get well.
A picture of what I'm looking forward to in December:
~Love me some Rockin' Roller Coaster!!~
The problem? You still have ZERO energy and everything takes way too much effort! Your brain is functioning at nearly 100% but your body is still schlumping around mustering only a whopping 15%, and that's just to get you from the recliner or bed to the bathroom or refrigerator.
Case in point: My brain looks at the carpet in the TV room, play room, and living room. It needs to be vacuumed. It missed it's Friday vacuuming and needs it DESPERATELY. My brain tells me I can do it...I walk to the vacuum in the laundry room and by the time that I arrive I barely have enough energy to wheel it out. The vacuum stays put and back to my recliner I go..
That is so frustrating for me!!
...and so I must tell myself...
April, you're not Wonder Woman. You're no lazy, you're sick. Stay put and get well.
A picture of what I'm looking forward to in December:
Saturday, May 4, 2013
Day #6 ~ Eating while Sick
The year is 1988. Little 9 year old me is not feeling well. I have a bad cold, a wretched cough, or a fever. I stay home from school. Mom let's me sleep in and then brings me toast with butter on it and a nice tall glass of orange juice. She then sets up blankets and pillows on the couch in the living room in front of the TV so that I can watch cartoons and a slew of game shows. For lunch she brings me a bowl of Campbell's chicken noodle soup, a package of saltine crackers, and some ginger ale. In the afternoon I move into my brother's room (because only soaps are on, we didn't have cable) and lay in his bed playing video games. At 3 o'clock I'm back out at the couch for cartoons. Daddy comes home from work and dotes on me to see if I need anything. That is the LIFE!!! And for dinner?? Mom or Dad runs out, especially for me to get McDonald's chicken nuggets and some french fries....
When I'm sick I want 3 things: Mommy to take care of me, Daddy to check on me, and McDonald's to comfort me...
Since the first two are no longer an option, with my parents being in Heaven and all, McDonald's wins out EVERY time!
The moment I start to not feel 100% I want a Big Mac, large fry, and a huge Coke. Or maybe a 20 piece nuggets, large fry, and a super sized orange drink...No matter what combination, McDonald's is what I require to feel better.
Yesterday was no exception.
During the week I allow myself to have two opportunities to eat food that I adore. This can be anything from double chocolate brownie cake with a scoop of triple chocolate chunk ice cream or a fresh-from-the-bakery canoli with extra cream and chocolate chips on the side.
I only have two rules: It has to be something that I ADORE (you will not find me splurging on the pudding at the local Chinese buffet) and I have to eat enough of it to be satisfied. In other words, I will not get the dessert and take one bite and then beat myself up over it insisting that I shouldn't finish it...BUT, I also don't necessarily finish the entire dessert either. I eat until I feel happy. Whether that's half of it or the whole thing :D
It has worked very well in the past and I'm fairly certain it will work just the same now!
So yesterday, with my bronchitis, I had McDonald's. Some yummy Angus wraps and a med order of awesome fries! And it was GOOOOOD!!!!
Today, despite how it takes all of my energy to walk from my recliner to the bathroom, I am feeling very well in regards to my weight. I miss exercising and running, but I understand that I need to recover fully before heading back out to run. I certainly do NOT want to wind up in the hospital so I will take it S-L-O-W...My outlook for next week is as follows:
-Sunday: rest all day. No church, no lunch with Haines'.
-Mon: If still coughing, no exercise
-Tues: WALK one mile at track
-Wed: 15 min leg lifts, squats, crunches (if I don't get winded)
-Thurs: WALK one mile or more at track
-Fri: Evaluate bronchitis and cough to possibly resume running.
For today I plan to continue to make good choices despite my crazy urge to send Jimmy to McDonald's again!!
When I'm sick I want 3 things: Mommy to take care of me, Daddy to check on me, and McDonald's to comfort me...
Since the first two are no longer an option, with my parents being in Heaven and all, McDonald's wins out EVERY time!
The moment I start to not feel 100% I want a Big Mac, large fry, and a huge Coke. Or maybe a 20 piece nuggets, large fry, and a super sized orange drink...No matter what combination, McDonald's is what I require to feel better.
Yesterday was no exception.
During the week I allow myself to have two opportunities to eat food that I adore. This can be anything from double chocolate brownie cake with a scoop of triple chocolate chunk ice cream or a fresh-from-the-bakery canoli with extra cream and chocolate chips on the side.
I only have two rules: It has to be something that I ADORE (you will not find me splurging on the pudding at the local Chinese buffet) and I have to eat enough of it to be satisfied. In other words, I will not get the dessert and take one bite and then beat myself up over it insisting that I shouldn't finish it...BUT, I also don't necessarily finish the entire dessert either. I eat until I feel happy. Whether that's half of it or the whole thing :D
It has worked very well in the past and I'm fairly certain it will work just the same now!
So yesterday, with my bronchitis, I had McDonald's. Some yummy Angus wraps and a med order of awesome fries! And it was GOOOOOD!!!!
Today, despite how it takes all of my energy to walk from my recliner to the bathroom, I am feeling very well in regards to my weight. I miss exercising and running, but I understand that I need to recover fully before heading back out to run. I certainly do NOT want to wind up in the hospital so I will take it S-L-O-W...My outlook for next week is as follows:
-Sunday: rest all day. No church, no lunch with Haines'.
-Mon: If still coughing, no exercise
-Tues: WALK one mile at track
-Wed: 15 min leg lifts, squats, crunches (if I don't get winded)
-Thurs: WALK one mile or more at track
-Fri: Evaluate bronchitis and cough to possibly resume running.
For today I plan to continue to make good choices despite my crazy urge to send Jimmy to McDonald's again!!
Friday, May 3, 2013
Day #5 ~Bronchitis
Need I say more?
Coughing and pain...QVC and recliner....cough drops and naps...
UGH!!!
Coughing and pain...QVC and recliner....cough drops and naps...
UGH!!!
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Day #4 ~ Weigh In
There's something about Weigh In Day that is so excitingly-annoyingly -scary. You get excites to see how much weight you've lost and you hope it's a lot but then you tell yourself aloud that it's not going to be that much just so you can be happier when it IS a lot! It's silly, I know, but I'm one of those girls that does that! :X
...and today didn't disappoint! I was hoping for a significant weight loss and told myself it would probably be like 3-4 pounds lost (knowing it would be more) and I was VERY happy when I stepped on and saw the number!
But, before I get to how much I lost I just want to tell you that if you're reading this you are one of the FEW people in this entire world that I am willing to tell my weight to. Oh,I don't mind blabbing how much I USED to weigh AFTER the weight loss, but BEFORE the weight loss I don't exactly go around declaring it. So if you're reading this you should feel very honored that I would share this with you, haha!
When I started this I weighed in at a whopping 272.6 pounds, and trust me I was on my way UP!!
This morning I stepped on to see 264.4!!! That's an 8.2 pounds drop!! I was elated!!! I still am!!
I realize that people say, "It was WATER weight, but hey, our bodies are 70% WATER, and weight is well, WEIGHT!! It's weight that I LOST, it counts :D
I realize that next week will probably not be quite so dramatic, and I'm okay with that. I'm headed in the right direction and that's the important thing!!
*I'm sorry I cannot post a Before and Now picture. I will attempt to do that once a week on Thursdays but today I have a cold settling into my chest and I honestly don't have any energy to get up and take one...plus my sister has my START photo and what's the point of showing the Now picture if I haven't posted the Before one yet!! LOL!!*
So instead I'm going to go look up a random photo to show you...
~I just LOVE water with lemon!~
...and today didn't disappoint! I was hoping for a significant weight loss and told myself it would probably be like 3-4 pounds lost (knowing it would be more) and I was VERY happy when I stepped on and saw the number!
But, before I get to how much I lost I just want to tell you that if you're reading this you are one of the FEW people in this entire world that I am willing to tell my weight to. Oh,I don't mind blabbing how much I USED to weigh AFTER the weight loss, but BEFORE the weight loss I don't exactly go around declaring it. So if you're reading this you should feel very honored that I would share this with you, haha!
When I started this I weighed in at a whopping 272.6 pounds, and trust me I was on my way UP!!
This morning I stepped on to see 264.4!!! That's an 8.2 pounds drop!! I was elated!!! I still am!!
I realize that people say, "It was WATER weight, but hey, our bodies are 70% WATER, and weight is well, WEIGHT!! It's weight that I LOST, it counts :D
I realize that next week will probably not be quite so dramatic, and I'm okay with that. I'm headed in the right direction and that's the important thing!!
*I'm sorry I cannot post a Before and Now picture. I will attempt to do that once a week on Thursdays but today I have a cold settling into my chest and I honestly don't have any energy to get up and take one...plus my sister has my START photo and what's the point of showing the Now picture if I haven't posted the Before one yet!! LOL!!*
So instead I'm going to go look up a random photo to show you...
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Day #3 ~ How'my Doin'
Well, all I can say for day 3 is..."hurt's so good!!!"...I am def feeling the burn! I'm aching in places that I haven't know existed for 2 years now...and it's WONDERFUL!!
I went out to the track at 7am and did the exact regime from the other day except I added one extra .25 mile to the run and another .25 at the end for cool down. It took me 45 minutes, which may seem like a lot considering I ran 1.5 miles of that two and three quarter mile workout, but hey, I'm just starting back up and let's face it, I'm a FAT girl, it's gonna take time to get back to my 10 min mile runs!!
I haven't weighed myself yet, that's tomorrow morning, but I just know it's going to be less! I can FEEL it in my clothing. I love this feeling! I have a lot of energy...well, I did have a lot of energy, but now it's late evening and I'm wearing down. =]
I always find that when I eat right and exercise my mind is not as crammed full of mental "junk" and I have a lot more patience, which is ALWAYS nice!
Whelp, that's all I've got for today. I'd like to leave you with another outfit choice that I'm looking forward to fitting in for Disney in December!!
I went out to the track at 7am and did the exact regime from the other day except I added one extra .25 mile to the run and another .25 at the end for cool down. It took me 45 minutes, which may seem like a lot considering I ran 1.5 miles of that two and three quarter mile workout, but hey, I'm just starting back up and let's face it, I'm a FAT girl, it's gonna take time to get back to my 10 min mile runs!!
I haven't weighed myself yet, that's tomorrow morning, but I just know it's going to be less! I can FEEL it in my clothing. I love this feeling! I have a lot of energy...well, I did have a lot of energy, but now it's late evening and I'm wearing down. =]
I always find that when I eat right and exercise my mind is not as crammed full of mental "junk" and I have a lot more patience, which is ALWAYS nice!
Whelp, that's all I've got for today. I'd like to leave you with another outfit choice that I'm looking forward to fitting in for Disney in December!!
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Day #2 ~ Goals
I woke up feeling GREAT!! I was in bed last night by 9:30 and Anya woke up at 5am to nurse. We both went back to sleep and then my little teenager proceeded to snooze until 8:45!!! That's 15 min before Seth and Gracie arrive so we had to move quickly! haha!
Since I feel so good it wasn't hard to start the day off eating right. I had my toast and cottage cheese breakfast, a carrot snack two hours later and a salad with chicken for lunch at noon. I plan to have a nice orange for snack around 3pm and then for dinner I'm either making lemon chicken & rice or lentil stuffed peppers. Either way it's going to be YUMMY!
Even though I feel fantastic I plan to rest all of today and not do any running or even a conditioning workout because I don't want to strain myself since this is the beginning of working out again. My plan is to head out tomorrow morning if I can haul myself out the door by 6am, or tomorrow evening around the same time as yesterday (5pm)
I'm excited because I know that eating well and exercise really do work for me, and it works QUICKLY! I am very confident that I will see a significant weight loss by the end of next week. My plan is to weigh every Thursday. My first goals are as follows:
-15 pounds lost by the end of May
-25 pounds lost by the end of June
-40 pounds lost by Rachel's wedding August 17
-50 pounds lost by the time Once Season 3 premire
-60 pounds lost by Halloween
-75 pounds lost by the time we leave for Disney sometime in December
They are very reasonable goals with an average of 10 pounds lost per month.
I like seeing these goals written out like that. It makes it real to me and helps my mind to envision each weight loss victory! I am not looking forward to 2013 being over and I don't wish my year away, but I am looking forward to feeling great in December!
Here's to size 12-14 capris in Disney World!!!
Since I feel so good it wasn't hard to start the day off eating right. I had my toast and cottage cheese breakfast, a carrot snack two hours later and a salad with chicken for lunch at noon. I plan to have a nice orange for snack around 3pm and then for dinner I'm either making lemon chicken & rice or lentil stuffed peppers. Either way it's going to be YUMMY!
Even though I feel fantastic I plan to rest all of today and not do any running or even a conditioning workout because I don't want to strain myself since this is the beginning of working out again. My plan is to head out tomorrow morning if I can haul myself out the door by 6am, or tomorrow evening around the same time as yesterday (5pm)
I'm excited because I know that eating well and exercise really do work for me, and it works QUICKLY! I am very confident that I will see a significant weight loss by the end of next week. My plan is to weigh every Thursday. My first goals are as follows:
-15 pounds lost by the end of May
-25 pounds lost by the end of June
-40 pounds lost by Rachel's wedding August 17
-50 pounds lost by the time Once Season 3 premire
-60 pounds lost by Halloween
-75 pounds lost by the time we leave for Disney sometime in December
They are very reasonable goals with an average of 10 pounds lost per month.
I like seeing these goals written out like that. It makes it real to me and helps my mind to envision each weight loss victory! I am not looking forward to 2013 being over and I don't wish my year away, but I am looking forward to feeling great in December!
Here's to size 12-14 capris in Disney World!!!
Monday, April 29, 2013
Day #1
Running....
I used to run. I loved to run. The day before I found out I was pregnant (2 years ago) I ran 4 miles, nonstop. My doctor told me to stop running when I became pregnant. He said that it was best to not jostle the baby around. I believed him and obeyed.
After Anya was born I waited 6 weeks and tried running again. It was hard because I was nursing her. I was tired from getting up every 3-4 hours during the night so I gave up. Then I had serious surgery (You can read about it here). After that I was afraid to run for a while. Then the track was closed due to repaving. Then it was closed due to stadium repair. Then I could only run in the evening and it became too dark too soon. Then I could only run in the morning and it was so dark that early. Then I packed on 50 pounds...and I've decided...
...ENOUGH EXCUSES!!!!!!!
I hauled myself up to the track today. I walked .25 mile to warm up. I then ran 1 mile straight through. I walked .25 mile, then ran .25 mile, and then walked .25 to cool down. 2 miles on my first day back. Not too shabby. My legs hurt, but I feel good.
This is it. It's not going to be easy but I can do this!!!!!!!!
I used to run. I loved to run. The day before I found out I was pregnant (2 years ago) I ran 4 miles, nonstop. My doctor told me to stop running when I became pregnant. He said that it was best to not jostle the baby around. I believed him and obeyed.
After Anya was born I waited 6 weeks and tried running again. It was hard because I was nursing her. I was tired from getting up every 3-4 hours during the night so I gave up. Then I had serious surgery (You can read about it here). After that I was afraid to run for a while. Then the track was closed due to repaving. Then it was closed due to stadium repair. Then I could only run in the evening and it became too dark too soon. Then I could only run in the morning and it was so dark that early. Then I packed on 50 pounds...and I've decided...
...ENOUGH EXCUSES!!!!!!!
I hauled myself up to the track today. I walked .25 mile to warm up. I then ran 1 mile straight through. I walked .25 mile, then ran .25 mile, and then walked .25 to cool down. 2 miles on my first day back. Not too shabby. My legs hurt, but I feel good.
This is it. It's not going to be easy but I can do this!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
How Do You Like Your Granola?
Crunchy Granola
This is a term used to describe women who:
I don't consider myself to be a crunchy granola woman although I do very much do many things that one would attribute to that lifestyle.
- I am still nursing Anya at 16 months. I have every intention of nursing her until she weans herself. I am looking forward to possibly tandem nursing her and her brother/sister when I have another baby.
- I cloth diaper. I enjoy it so very much. My friend Lindy and I like to call our daughters, Miss Fluffy Tushy, in their cloth diapers because it really poofs out their hindquarters, haha!
- I buy organic whenever possible. It' just TASTES better. Many times it's smaller than the other products and more expensive, but it's so worth it.
- I attempted to have a homebirth with a midwife but couldn't because I had gestational hypertension and no homebirth midwife would come near me =[
- I attempted to have a waterbirth at the hospital and will most CERTAINLY strive toward this goal with my next child. I couldn't have a waterbirth with Anya because I was in labor SOOOO LONG that I just gave up mentally and asked for an epidural. I do not regret this decision because my body was exhausted and I couldn't handle it anymore after 17 hours of labor...after receiving the epidural I still labored for another 15 hours!! It was ROUGH!!
- I fully support women who nurse in public. I see nothing wrong with it and I think children that observe them and don't understand should be told that those mommies are feeding their babies with milk that their bodies make. We allow our children to walk through the mall and be exposed to skimpy clothing and Victoria's Secret posters, so what's wrong with a mother naturally feeding her child?
Well, that's a little about me. Not really crunchy granola, more like natural rolled oats from the Amish market :D hahaha!
~October 2012~
This is a term used to describe women who:
"characterized themselves by or define themselves by ecological awareness, liberal political views, and support or use of natural products and health foods."...see also: nursing until child is self-weaned, water birthing, homebirths...
I don't consider myself to be a crunchy granola woman although I do very much do many things that one would attribute to that lifestyle.
- I am still nursing Anya at 16 months. I have every intention of nursing her until she weans herself. I am looking forward to possibly tandem nursing her and her brother/sister when I have another baby.
- I cloth diaper. I enjoy it so very much. My friend Lindy and I like to call our daughters, Miss Fluffy Tushy, in their cloth diapers because it really poofs out their hindquarters, haha!
- I buy organic whenever possible. It' just TASTES better. Many times it's smaller than the other products and more expensive, but it's so worth it.
- I attempted to have a homebirth with a midwife but couldn't because I had gestational hypertension and no homebirth midwife would come near me =[
- I attempted to have a waterbirth at the hospital and will most CERTAINLY strive toward this goal with my next child. I couldn't have a waterbirth with Anya because I was in labor SOOOO LONG that I just gave up mentally and asked for an epidural. I do not regret this decision because my body was exhausted and I couldn't handle it anymore after 17 hours of labor...after receiving the epidural I still labored for another 15 hours!! It was ROUGH!!
- I fully support women who nurse in public. I see nothing wrong with it and I think children that observe them and don't understand should be told that those mommies are feeding their babies with milk that their bodies make. We allow our children to walk through the mall and be exposed to skimpy clothing and Victoria's Secret posters, so what's wrong with a mother naturally feeding her child?
Well, that's a little about me. Not really crunchy granola, more like natural rolled oats from the Amish market :D hahaha!
Monday, April 15, 2013
Susie
~Happy 27th Birthday to my little sister, Susanna!!!~
-Susie is a very good sister-friend of mine. She is my sister and my friend :D
- I see Susie more than all of my other sisters combined. It's not that I don't love my other sisters, I just see Susie more because I feed her dinner every night and she spends her weekend days here. We also attend the same church.
- Susie and I are on the same page with MOST of our views and interests
-Susie looks the most like me out of all of our siblings
-Susie is so very generous and loving to all of her nieces and nephews
-Susie is going to make a great wife one day because she is very loving and she doesn't take others for granted
-Susie is beautiful on the inside and the outside!!
Happy Birthday, Suz!! I hope this year is a great one!! GOD has truly blessed you in all things!
~Susie and I drew these beautiful pictures!~
-Susie is a very good sister-friend of mine. She is my sister and my friend :D
- I see Susie more than all of my other sisters combined. It's not that I don't love my other sisters, I just see Susie more because I feed her dinner every night and she spends her weekend days here. We also attend the same church.
- Susie and I are on the same page with MOST of our views and interests
-Susie looks the most like me out of all of our siblings
-Susie is so very generous and loving to all of her nieces and nephews
-Susie is going to make a great wife one day because she is very loving and she doesn't take others for granted
-Susie is beautiful on the inside and the outside!!
Happy Birthday, Suz!! I hope this year is a great one!! GOD has truly blessed you in all things!
Sunday, April 14, 2013
~My One True Love~
MUSH ALERT! MUSH ALERT!
THIS IS YOU FAIR WARNING THAT I AM ABOUT TO BE SUPER MUSHY!!!!!!
James....oooooh that name is just the cutest name around, isn't it? I used to not like it that much because let's face it, there are A LOT of James/Jimmy's in this world. It ranked #1 Boys name from 1940-1952 and was #17 in 2011 so it's still VERY popular!
But this isn't just ANY James I'm talking about, this is MY James!!
James and I met at Target while I was shopping and he was working, in April 2002 and became pretty good friends when I began working there the following month. He was rough around the edges and quite a mean guy but he always had this very nice respect for me and my beliefs. I am a Christian and he WAS a Wiccan.
In Jan of 2004 James gave his heart to Jesus and after spending a year denying that there would ever be any kind of romantic connection between us, we began dating. My Dad, who was dying of cancer was overjoyed. He had always prayed for a good Christian man to come love and care for me. We began dating Feb 12, 2005 and Daddy passed away March 23, 2005. James and I were engaged May 7, 2005 and married October 21, 2006.
But those are just little snippet details, let me tell you WHY I am so in love with him
#1. James STRIVES to love and treat me just at the LORD commands him to. (Ephesians 5:25) James strives to love me just as Jesus loves His Church. James is so selfless and giving in our relationship. He very often puts me to shame (though he does not realize this) because he is so eager to love and adore me and I sometimes take it for granted.
#2. James is a SUPER hard worker. He in working full time, in online Bible college full time and he runs the youth and young adult ministry at our church which provides the home that we live in. He is amazing and loving and very organized and thorough in all that he does.
#3. He's got great hair... What?? I'm allowed to pick out some of the physical attributes of my love! I once heard a preacher who was speaking on relationships say, "Looks aren't everything, but they are SOMETHING" You need to be attracted to your husband or wife...and I am very attracted to James. Like I said, he's got great hair, and he's got these eyes that can make me blush. He just does this certain thing with them sometimes and I come unglued!
#4. He is an AMAZING father!! He loves Anya so very much and I love to see him with her. Anya loves when Daddy comes home from work! It's so cute! She runs to the door saying, "Dada Dada". He's not afraid to change a poopy diaper or wipe a boogie nose and he enjoys bathing her and snuggling her. He is just her most favorite person! I honestly believe that if it wasn't for the fact that I'm the only one that can nurse her, she would choose Dada over me every time! haha!
#5. He's just the perfect man for me! He's exactly what I need and the LORD knew it and blessed me so very much by giving him to me! I love you, James!!!!!!!!!!
- I realize that we are not the best looking couple in the whole wide world, we aren't thin and pretty, we aren't rich and barely have a penny to our name, but we belong to each other. He is mine and I am his and that is what matters. I wouldn't trade him for anything! He is my one true love and I am so much more blessed than I could've ever hoped for!!
<3
~6 year anniversary~
THIS IS YOU FAIR WARNING THAT I AM ABOUT TO BE SUPER MUSHY!!!!!!
James....oooooh that name is just the cutest name around, isn't it? I used to not like it that much because let's face it, there are A LOT of James/Jimmy's in this world. It ranked #1 Boys name from 1940-1952 and was #17 in 2011 so it's still VERY popular!
But this isn't just ANY James I'm talking about, this is MY James!!
James and I met at Target while I was shopping and he was working, in April 2002 and became pretty good friends when I began working there the following month. He was rough around the edges and quite a mean guy but he always had this very nice respect for me and my beliefs. I am a Christian and he WAS a Wiccan.
In Jan of 2004 James gave his heart to Jesus and after spending a year denying that there would ever be any kind of romantic connection between us, we began dating. My Dad, who was dying of cancer was overjoyed. He had always prayed for a good Christian man to come love and care for me. We began dating Feb 12, 2005 and Daddy passed away March 23, 2005. James and I were engaged May 7, 2005 and married October 21, 2006.
But those are just little snippet details, let me tell you WHY I am so in love with him
#1. James STRIVES to love and treat me just at the LORD commands him to. (Ephesians 5:25) James strives to love me just as Jesus loves His Church. James is so selfless and giving in our relationship. He very often puts me to shame (though he does not realize this) because he is so eager to love and adore me and I sometimes take it for granted.
#2. James is a SUPER hard worker. He in working full time, in online Bible college full time and he runs the youth and young adult ministry at our church which provides the home that we live in. He is amazing and loving and very organized and thorough in all that he does.
#3. He's got great hair... What?? I'm allowed to pick out some of the physical attributes of my love! I once heard a preacher who was speaking on relationships say, "Looks aren't everything, but they are SOMETHING" You need to be attracted to your husband or wife...and I am very attracted to James. Like I said, he's got great hair, and he's got these eyes that can make me blush. He just does this certain thing with them sometimes and I come unglued!
#4. He is an AMAZING father!! He loves Anya so very much and I love to see him with her. Anya loves when Daddy comes home from work! It's so cute! She runs to the door saying, "Dada Dada". He's not afraid to change a poopy diaper or wipe a boogie nose and he enjoys bathing her and snuggling her. He is just her most favorite person! I honestly believe that if it wasn't for the fact that I'm the only one that can nurse her, she would choose Dada over me every time! haha!
#5. He's just the perfect man for me! He's exactly what I need and the LORD knew it and blessed me so very much by giving him to me! I love you, James!!!!!!!!!!
- I realize that we are not the best looking couple in the whole wide world, we aren't thin and pretty, we aren't rich and barely have a penny to our name, but we belong to each other. He is mine and I am his and that is what matters. I wouldn't trade him for anything! He is my one true love and I am so much more blessed than I could've ever hoped for!!
<3
Saturday, April 13, 2013
Background Music
Do any of you enjoy background music?
I certainly do! But only if I'm not trying to talk to someone! haha!
I enjoy listening to music while I blog, check my emails, or cruise around Pintrest. Everything from hymns, contemporary Christian, 80's love songs, rock ballads, and movie theme songs. There's not too much I don't like...
...BUT...
...it HAS got to be instrumental piano music! If it's anything else, particularly singing, it's too distracting and I can't concentrate on what I what to write.
I think it's because I grew up in a home where Mom played the piano and I don't ever remember not having one. Mom used to play almost every night and I guess I got used to doing chores, homework, and yes, even watching TV, all while hearing piano music in the background.
I do miss that aspect of my life. I miss my Mom so much sometimes and listening to instrumental piano music while I do work really helps me to remember those good times...
Here are some of my favorite Youtube links:
- In Christ Alone
-How Great Thou Art
-How Firm A Foundation
-All I Ask Of You
-Weekend In New England
-I Would Do Anything For Love
I certainly do! But only if I'm not trying to talk to someone! haha!
I enjoy listening to music while I blog, check my emails, or cruise around Pintrest. Everything from hymns, contemporary Christian, 80's love songs, rock ballads, and movie theme songs. There's not too much I don't like...
...BUT...
...it HAS got to be instrumental piano music! If it's anything else, particularly singing, it's too distracting and I can't concentrate on what I what to write.
I think it's because I grew up in a home where Mom played the piano and I don't ever remember not having one. Mom used to play almost every night and I guess I got used to doing chores, homework, and yes, even watching TV, all while hearing piano music in the background.
I do miss that aspect of my life. I miss my Mom so much sometimes and listening to instrumental piano music while I do work really helps me to remember those good times...
Here are some of my favorite Youtube links:
- In Christ Alone
-How Great Thou Art
-How Firm A Foundation
-All I Ask Of You
-Weekend In New England
-I Would Do Anything For Love
Friday, April 12, 2013
I miss you Blog!!!
As you can tell, I haven't blogged in a while =[
My computer is broken...
I miss blogging...
Oh, Jimmy, PLEASE fix my computer soon!!!!
My computer is broken...
I miss blogging...
Oh, Jimmy, PLEASE fix my computer soon!!!!
Friday, April 5, 2013
Undercover Boss
I really enjoy the show Undercover Boss on CBS. It's really just an amazing show all around. Not only do the big cheeses of these big corporations have to step in and do the jobs of the "little people", but they get a HUGE dose of reality in how HARD those "little $10 an hour jobs" really are...I also like that at the end of the show the "big cheese" usually gives rewards to some of his very hardworking employees. It's always so wonderful to see people being appreciated and loved on. I would like to be a big CEO one day, but only if it meant I got to go around all the time and reward people, haha! I think I'll look for that job starting tomorrow! LOL!!!
~Please enjoy this random photo of toys by S or G~
Thursday, April 4, 2013
~About Me~
Just some fun facts about me:
1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Nope.
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
I cried two weeks about when I saw this video about how Jesus is with you all the time. You can
view it here
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Yes, My mom used to say I had the neatest handwriting in the house! I miss her handwriting
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
chicken breast
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
yes
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
yes, I think I would be, I'm a fun girl :D
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
not really
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
yup
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
no way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Cinnamon Toast Crunch!
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
haha! Nope, I never do!
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
yes. My dad used to say (in a thick Russian accent) "Big girl work in tractor factory"
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Ben and Jerry's Cookie Mint
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
Their voice
15. RED OR PINK?
neither...
16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
Sometimes I can be quite irresponsible with important things, like giftcards!
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
My Momma and Daddy
18. WHAT IS THE PAUL MCKENNA TECHNIQUE THAT YOU NEED TO WORK ON THE MOST?
Huh????
19. WHAT COLOR SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
no shoes here, just my bare piggy toes
20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
A strawberry banana fruit twist
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Sarah DesLonde eating and talking on my couch...and complaining about the Barney
episode that Ani is watching
22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Yellow, because I'm such a ray of sunshine! LOL!
23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
fresh cut grass, honeysuckle, the shore, Christmas trees, Ani when she's fresh from the bath, Thanksgiving morning
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Paula
25. MOUNTAIN HIDEAWAY OR BEACH HOUSE?
Beach house for my beach house ministry
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Mets or Yankees baseball
27. HAIR COLOR?
brown
28. EYE COLOR?
green
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
nope. I like my glasses :D
30. FAVORITE FOOD?
mmmmmmmm, precious foooood! haha! Ummmmm, I guess my homemade taco ring
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Happy Endings
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
I think it was Pillow Talk
33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
A light blue vintage Star Wars Episode IV shirt
34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Winter
35. HUGS OR KISSES?
Yes
36. FAVORITE DESSERT?
The black tie mousse cake from Olive Garden
37. STRENGTH TRAINING OR CARDIO?
Both are important
38. COMPUTER OR TELEVISION?
Yes, I like to be on the computer while I watch TV, haha!
39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
GOD in Math
40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
Laptop, no mouse or mousepad here
42. FAVORITE SOUND
Jimmy's voice
43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
neither
44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Florida
45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT
yes, keeping my cool when dramatic people annoy me
46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
in a hospital
47. WHERE ARE YOU LIVING NOW?
in my house
48. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR HOUSE?
white
49. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR CAR?
green
50. DO YOU LIKE ANSWERING 50 QUESTIONS?
Sure did, thanks for asking :D
1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Nope.
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
I cried two weeks about when I saw this video about how Jesus is with you all the time. You can
view it here
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Yes, My mom used to say I had the neatest handwriting in the house! I miss her handwriting
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
chicken breast
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
yes
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
yes, I think I would be, I'm a fun girl :D
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
not really
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
yup
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
no way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Cinnamon Toast Crunch!
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
haha! Nope, I never do!
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
yes. My dad used to say (in a thick Russian accent) "Big girl work in tractor factory"
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Ben and Jerry's Cookie Mint
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
Their voice
15. RED OR PINK?
neither...
16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
Sometimes I can be quite irresponsible with important things, like giftcards!
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
My Momma and Daddy
18. WHAT IS THE PAUL MCKENNA TECHNIQUE THAT YOU NEED TO WORK ON THE MOST?
Huh????
19. WHAT COLOR SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
no shoes here, just my bare piggy toes
20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
A strawberry banana fruit twist
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Sarah DesLonde eating and talking on my couch...and complaining about the Barney
episode that Ani is watching
22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Yellow, because I'm such a ray of sunshine! LOL!
23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
fresh cut grass, honeysuckle, the shore, Christmas trees, Ani when she's fresh from the bath, Thanksgiving morning
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Paula
25. MOUNTAIN HIDEAWAY OR BEACH HOUSE?
Beach house for my beach house ministry
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Mets or Yankees baseball
27. HAIR COLOR?
brown
28. EYE COLOR?
green
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
nope. I like my glasses :D
30. FAVORITE FOOD?
mmmmmmmm, precious foooood! haha! Ummmmm, I guess my homemade taco ring
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Happy Endings
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
I think it was Pillow Talk
33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
A light blue vintage Star Wars Episode IV shirt
34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Winter
35. HUGS OR KISSES?
Yes
36. FAVORITE DESSERT?
The black tie mousse cake from Olive Garden
37. STRENGTH TRAINING OR CARDIO?
Both are important
38. COMPUTER OR TELEVISION?
Yes, I like to be on the computer while I watch TV, haha!
39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
GOD in Math
40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
Laptop, no mouse or mousepad here
42. FAVORITE SOUND
Jimmy's voice
43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
neither
44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Florida
45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT
yes, keeping my cool when dramatic people annoy me
46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
in a hospital
47. WHERE ARE YOU LIVING NOW?
in my house
48. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR HOUSE?
white
49. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR CAR?
green
50. DO YOU LIKE ANSWERING 50 QUESTIONS?
Sure did, thanks for asking :D
It's Not About Me???????
Say WHAT?????????
It's not about me??? Of course it IS!!!!!! What, do you think it's about YOU?? HA!! Why would it be all about you when it should be all about me???
Of course we would never actually say any of this aloud or during an argument...and if you would, you need some serious help... but how many of us say this in our actions and attitudes every single day??
...particularly to our spouse....
Ooooooooo, did I hit a nerve there? Cheer up, I hit my own nerve as well so we're in the same boat. Here, let me help you row...
I tend to have this attitude. I don't come right out and say this to Jimmy but I certainly do mean this when I speak to him in a disrespectful tone or bark some kind of order at him and expect him to jump right to it as if he were my slave or something...and sometimes, yes sometimes, I even drag this attitude into our marital bed. Sex is something we should do my way, on my terms, what I feel like, when I feel like it, and if I decide to do any "extras" once or twice a year you should consider yourself a lucky man and I am so worthy of Best Wife of the Year awards, certificates, and trophies...and you should definitely brag to your best friend about me. Just be sure that you do it like from the other room when we get together so I can HEAR about how awesome I am...
Boy, am I glad there's no one that reads this! I'm really laying it out here. these are things that I always thought I would keep inside...certainly not material I would think I would send out into cyberspace. However, I do believe if you a reading this right now it's for a good reason, and I hope you can learn from my mistakes.
Last week a thought occurred to me. "Am I REALLY and truly a good wife?"
...I thought about it a while...
...and then I had to answer with all honesty and say "No, I'm really not"
Oh sure, i keep the house clean, I cook meals, do laundry, change our sheets, take care of our baby, teach Seth and Gracie their lessons...but when it comes to being Jimmy's WIFE, essentially, his helpmeet, I am not a good wife.
Here are some things that I used to (up until a week ago) do to him:
-whenever he wanted a kiss I would pretend to faint so he couldn't reach me, turn my head and tell him he needed to earn them, or instruct him that he needed to use more mouthwash before I did. I very RARELY kissed him straight up...there always had to be a catch. And when he DID manage to get a kiss, I would wipe it off (not in a mean way) and tell him he was too slobbery..
-I would EXPECT him to rub either my legs or my back each night. Which he did, because he is an AWESOME husband
-I would ask him if he loved me and when he said "yes" I would tell him that I don't think he did. (I believed 100% that he loved me. I have NEVER doubted that but for some reason I always felt that I had to say it. It's almost like I needed him to strive to love me more...does that make sense?)
- I didn't hug him a lot. Jimmy is a very hands on man and he loves to be touched, by ME! I guess it was my selfish way of making sure he'd always strive for my attention. As if I have all these hugs and they're numbered so I don't want to give too many out or he won't want them anymore...
I'm so glad that I have finally acknowledged all of this before the LORD and He is helping me to become the wife that He commands me to be!
Proverbs 31:10
"An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life."
Proverbs 14:1
"The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down."
So last week I came across these two blogs: here
and
here
These websites have truly helped me to step back and reevaluate how I treat, speak to, and show my love to Jimmy. It was weird at first, especially when making a nice comment to him. It wasn't that I spoke nasty to him the last 8 years, it's just that I've never been the one to say lovey-dovey things. Everything was always a joke to me or I snapped at him when I was tired or in a bad mood.
If you are anything like me at all, honestly take a look at your heart. Are you the wife that you want to be??? If not, then you need GOD to change your heart!!! He changed me, and I am so grateful for it!! For 8 years the locusts have eaten away at time and love that I could've lavished on my Jimmy. No more!!! they aren't getting any more!! I'm taking every kiss and adding 10 seconds to it...and believe me, Jimmy is LOVING it!!
...and tonight I'm going to surprise HIM with a massage...because I want my life to focus on GOD and Jimmy, not me.
Because it's NOT about me!!
...it never was....
It's not about me??? Of course it IS!!!!!! What, do you think it's about YOU?? HA!! Why would it be all about you when it should be all about me???
Of course we would never actually say any of this aloud or during an argument...and if you would, you need some serious help... but how many of us say this in our actions and attitudes every single day??
...particularly to our spouse....
Ooooooooo, did I hit a nerve there? Cheer up, I hit my own nerve as well so we're in the same boat. Here, let me help you row...
I tend to have this attitude. I don't come right out and say this to Jimmy but I certainly do mean this when I speak to him in a disrespectful tone or bark some kind of order at him and expect him to jump right to it as if he were my slave or something...and sometimes, yes sometimes, I even drag this attitude into our marital bed. Sex is something we should do my way, on my terms, what I feel like, when I feel like it, and if I decide to do any "extras" once or twice a year you should consider yourself a lucky man and I am so worthy of Best Wife of the Year awards, certificates, and trophies...and you should definitely brag to your best friend about me. Just be sure that you do it like from the other room when we get together so I can HEAR about how awesome I am...
Boy, am I glad there's no one that reads this! I'm really laying it out here. these are things that I always thought I would keep inside...certainly not material I would think I would send out into cyberspace. However, I do believe if you a reading this right now it's for a good reason, and I hope you can learn from my mistakes.
Last week a thought occurred to me. "Am I REALLY and truly a good wife?"
...I thought about it a while...
...and then I had to answer with all honesty and say "No, I'm really not"
Oh sure, i keep the house clean, I cook meals, do laundry, change our sheets, take care of our baby, teach Seth and Gracie their lessons...but when it comes to being Jimmy's WIFE, essentially, his helpmeet, I am not a good wife.
Here are some things that I used to (up until a week ago) do to him:
-whenever he wanted a kiss I would pretend to faint so he couldn't reach me, turn my head and tell him he needed to earn them, or instruct him that he needed to use more mouthwash before I did. I very RARELY kissed him straight up...there always had to be a catch. And when he DID manage to get a kiss, I would wipe it off (not in a mean way) and tell him he was too slobbery..
-I would EXPECT him to rub either my legs or my back each night. Which he did, because he is an AWESOME husband
-I would ask him if he loved me and when he said "yes" I would tell him that I don't think he did. (I believed 100% that he loved me. I have NEVER doubted that but for some reason I always felt that I had to say it. It's almost like I needed him to strive to love me more...does that make sense?)
- I didn't hug him a lot. Jimmy is a very hands on man and he loves to be touched, by ME! I guess it was my selfish way of making sure he'd always strive for my attention. As if I have all these hugs and they're numbered so I don't want to give too many out or he won't want them anymore...
I'm so glad that I have finally acknowledged all of this before the LORD and He is helping me to become the wife that He commands me to be!
Proverbs 31:10
"An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life."
Proverbs 14:1
"The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down."
So last week I came across these two blogs: here
and
here
These websites have truly helped me to step back and reevaluate how I treat, speak to, and show my love to Jimmy. It was weird at first, especially when making a nice comment to him. It wasn't that I spoke nasty to him the last 8 years, it's just that I've never been the one to say lovey-dovey things. Everything was always a joke to me or I snapped at him when I was tired or in a bad mood.
If you are anything like me at all, honestly take a look at your heart. Are you the wife that you want to be??? If not, then you need GOD to change your heart!!! He changed me, and I am so grateful for it!! For 8 years the locusts have eaten away at time and love that I could've lavished on my Jimmy. No more!!! they aren't getting any more!! I'm taking every kiss and adding 10 seconds to it...and believe me, Jimmy is LOVING it!!
...and tonight I'm going to surprise HIM with a massage...because I want my life to focus on GOD and Jimmy, not me.
Because it's NOT about me!!
...it never was....
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
No Followers? Then Why Blog?
If you have randomly stumbled across my blog somehow, I would like to personally welcome you to it!!
There may be a few things you notice. Probably one of the first is that there are no comments after any of my blog posts. This is because of something else you will probably take notice to: I have NO followers.
You may find that odd, afterall everyone has at least ONE friend, don't they?
Haha! I assure you that I have a plethora of people that enjoy my company and a few very close friends... I couldn't become a hermit if I tried!!!....I just haven't let people know that I'm blogging over here. I enjoy having this area of my life that is just me spilling my beans (pun intended to those that know me).
My hubby does know that I am blogging (I don't keep ANYTHING from him) and if he were to ask me for the link to see this I would most certainly give it to him. I will be blogging about him soon...I'm soooo in love with him so if you don't like that mushy-gushy stuff this is your fair warning to stay away! haha! It will probably be titled ~My One True Love~ or something to that effect!!
Well, enjoy your time here checking out my other posts, or just scroll back to the top of this page and click on that nice button >>NEXT BLOG>> and move along...
~A random photo of my sister, Susie, building a bear~
There may be a few things you notice. Probably one of the first is that there are no comments after any of my blog posts. This is because of something else you will probably take notice to: I have NO followers.
You may find that odd, afterall everyone has at least ONE friend, don't they?
Haha! I assure you that I have a plethora of people that enjoy my company and a few very close friends... I couldn't become a hermit if I tried!!!....I just haven't let people know that I'm blogging over here. I enjoy having this area of my life that is just me spilling my beans (pun intended to those that know me).
My hubby does know that I am blogging (I don't keep ANYTHING from him) and if he were to ask me for the link to see this I would most certainly give it to him. I will be blogging about him soon...I'm soooo in love with him so if you don't like that mushy-gushy stuff this is your fair warning to stay away! haha! It will probably be titled ~My One True Love~ or something to that effect!!
Well, enjoy your time here checking out my other posts, or just scroll back to the top of this page and click on that nice button >>NEXT BLOG>> and move along...
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Down Time
~Shhhhhhhhhhhh~
Okay, I admit it: I love, Love, LOVE nap time around here!!!Don't get me wrong, I love, Love, LOVE hanging out with my Anya and Seth & Gracie, but there comes a time when my little brain just needs to "blerk" and listen to nothing but the noises from outside the open window, or the "chuk, chuk, chuk" of the washer scrubbing up my clothes, or even better the "tippty-tap-tap-tap" of my fingers across the keyboard of my laptop...
It's not that I have a crazy, hectic, over-scheduled morning, it's just that there's a lot going on living our life and it's nice to have a time when we quiet down...
Here's a quick look at our morning schedule:
-Seth and Gracie arrive
-10-15 min of chat time with their Dad about any problems they may be having (ex. tummy aches, didn't sleep well the night before, up too early, chapped lips, ect)
-10 min of playtime with Ani
- 10-15 min of Morning Circle with date, weather, songs, and Bible verse memorization
-35-45 min of Sing, Spell, Read, & Write. This is our learning to read program and you can read about it here
-Halfway through S,S,R,&W we have a snack time
- 30-40 min of playtime while I clean a bathroom, toss in a load of laundry, and/or vacuum.
-10 min prepare lunch
-15-20 min LUNCH
-10 min getting them all potty'ed and cleaned up
-10-15 min of rocking Anya to sleep as she nurses
-Seth and Gracie play in Jimmy's office while I do this
- 5 min tuck Seth and Gracie in on the couch and throw myself into my recliner and take a deep breath
I realize that Seth is 5 and Gracie is 4 and nap time is soon to be gone. In fact, Seth doesn't usually fall asleep anymore. However, I do believe that relaxation time is very, very important and vital for maintaining a happy child for the rest of the day until bedtime. Seth does have the option to take books to look at, though he very rarely does. He is my thinking boy and enjoys (whether he'll admit it or not) laying on the couch thinking about stuffs in his little world :D
Gracie has not been given the book-looking option yet because she is still VERY MUCH in need of her afternoon nap.
And there, my friend, is a little peek into the world of me on a typical weekday...
Now if you'll excuse me, my brain needs some rest :D
Monday, April 1, 2013
Did she???
Anya is 15 months and 3 weeks old today...she has said "Mama" about two times and both times, I'm pretty sure, it was by accident.
This evening I decided to get a relaxing bath after dinner while Jimmy played with Ani (one of his favorite times of the day). It was only about 20 min before her bedtime but I figured I'd let her stay up for a little while tonight...
She had a different idea. When her bedtime hit, she had a meltdown on poor Dada. I could hear her downstairs from my bath and I realized I needed to end my relaxation time...
And then the kicker: I heard her making noise as Jimmy brought her into the bedroom. It stopped as soon as she saw me because she began to laugh...Jimmy insists she was saying "Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama" the whole way up the stairs...I didn't hear it and she refused to repeat it... So the question still remains in my mind...Will she ever call me "Mama" to my face???
~My Lovey Baby...That FACE!!!~
This evening I decided to get a relaxing bath after dinner while Jimmy played with Ani (one of his favorite times of the day). It was only about 20 min before her bedtime but I figured I'd let her stay up for a little while tonight...
She had a different idea. When her bedtime hit, she had a meltdown on poor Dada. I could hear her downstairs from my bath and I realized I needed to end my relaxation time...
And then the kicker: I heard her making noise as Jimmy brought her into the bedroom. It stopped as soon as she saw me because she began to laugh...Jimmy insists she was saying "Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama" the whole way up the stairs...I didn't hear it and she refused to repeat it... So the question still remains in my mind...Will she ever call me "Mama" to my face???
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Lakeshore Learning Center
Oh my WORD!!! I thought there would never be a store in the world that could top my love of Kohl's...I have just discovered it today!!! Lakeshore Learning Center is a teacher's store that's full of all kinds of goodies!! I was salivating the moment I walked through the door! I wanted EVERYTHING in sight! It was so very awesome!!!
I was having a severe struggle with my flesh in there. I had just finished a great shopping trip at Kohl's where I had purchased presents for Rachel, Mary, Jonathan, Bailey, and Brandt, as well as new flip flops for me and an Easter tie for Jimmy and I spent only $65 and received a $10 Kohl's cash coupon for next week! That was some GREAT savings (my savings totaled $350!!) and I was riding high on my Cheap-o-meter, until I walked through THAT door...Oh my...It was all the colors, all the workbooks, all the manipulatives, all the learning games, the pencils, the paper, the stickers, the glue, the glitter, the little chachkey incentive prizes...oh dear, my head is spinning at the remembrance of it all! I had to calm myself down and I even managed to talk myself out of purchasing the $19 pizza pie game that helps to teach addition and subtraction. I didn't need it...I also talked myself out of buying special boxes for buttons. I mean, really April, you have all those awesome buttons in that Ziploc bag. Don't you think they are really happy there? Do you really need to spend $3 on a box that says BUTTONS just so you can put them in there and pull them out 2x a year??
I settled on buying a new colorful calendar, because I am in desperate need of one, as well as some Ticonderoga pencils (because, hey, they ARE the best!). I also picked up some clearance crayons and glue sticks since we were out...
I also signed up for the Lakeshore Club and received a free welcome bag...They may have sucked me into their world for good now...
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
My Secrets
I'd like to take this opportunity to just kind of word vomit all over my blog. I just have so many things going on in my head that I feel like if I could just get them out they wouldn't be jammed in there so annoyingly!
Here we go: Totally random!
- I want to move so badly! I really do not like being at Tabernacle Church. I feel very limited in what I can do there. There are several people in authoritative positions there that should NOT be because they do not display the love of Christ. They are back biters, users, gossips, and drama queens and/or kings...sometimes I go on Realtor.com and look at other places to live and pretend that I'm moving soon.
- I struggle in my prayer life. I have the worst wandering mind and I get side tracked so easily and it frustrates me
-I hate putting laundry away! I'll wash it, fold it, sort it, and put it in baskets, but I hate, hate, HATE putting it away! It usually sits near my dresser, Anya's dresser, and Jimmy's dresser in baskets and we just take from it. I know this is an area I need to work on. I mean, really, how long would it really take if I just out it away when it's done?? Prob 10 min!...and yet....
- I want to live in a trailer. I know, weird...I used to HATE trailers. In fact, I told Jimmy when we began dating that trailers were not for me, I only wanted a house. Now, I'm in a house, that doesn't belong to me, and I just hope and pray for a time when Jimmy and I can own a trailer. A double wide...with 3 or 4 bedrooms and 2 bath...with a cute little kitchen and a little dining room with fake wooden floors and one of those little sheds on the side of it...It's amazing how much your perspective can change when you realize how much you really DON'T need in life.
- I compare myself to people...but not in the "I should be more like them" way, but in the "I'm so glad I'm not like them" way. It's very conceited and not very nice at all. Even if the person (usually another woman) is thinner than me, neater than me, or prettier than me, I always find a way to be better than them in my mind. I don't even try hard, something just usually pops into my mind without any effort at all. This is something I need to be more mindful of and be careful to not dwell on. GOD needs to change this in me...
-Facebook is annoyingly addictive...I like FarmTown A lot...too much, in fact...
-I deactivated my FB account because I felt very harassed yesterday and sometimes you just need to step away from the drama of it all and leave it behind!
- There are times in my life when I wake up and just want to lay on the couch all day and watch TV...
- There are times in my life when I feel so overwhelmed by the amount of people that want to visit me, talk to me, text with me, and ask my advice on things. Sometimes I just want to run away so my mind can just be still and I don't have to make plans with ANYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- It hurts my feelings when someone texts me and asks if they can visit, or I can come visit them, and I have to tell them "no" for one reason or another and they swing a "text 'tude" on me and reply "k" or "oh" or worse, don't answer. It makes me feel that I'm only good enough when I'm at their beck and call...
- It hurts my feelings when I express myself in a sad way in a status and I'm told to "suck it up" or "get over it", especially because it's not all that often, and it's usually about my dead parents
- I hate being an orphan
-I'm sorry if those last three sounded whiny. They really weren't meant to be and since you can't see or hear the emotion behind this I can see how one would think that was me being a whiny baby
- Sometimes I cancel plans because I have legitimately made myself sick over the prospect of having to go out and do something. Yes, I'm an extrovert, but sometimes, sometimes I am indeed introverted.
- I hate answering my cell phone
-I hate answering my door
- Well, I guess that's it...
~Just an ordinary girl, with things on her mind~
Here we go: Totally random!
- I want to move so badly! I really do not like being at Tabernacle Church. I feel very limited in what I can do there. There are several people in authoritative positions there that should NOT be because they do not display the love of Christ. They are back biters, users, gossips, and drama queens and/or kings...sometimes I go on Realtor.com and look at other places to live and pretend that I'm moving soon.
- I struggle in my prayer life. I have the worst wandering mind and I get side tracked so easily and it frustrates me
-I hate putting laundry away! I'll wash it, fold it, sort it, and put it in baskets, but I hate, hate, HATE putting it away! It usually sits near my dresser, Anya's dresser, and Jimmy's dresser in baskets and we just take from it. I know this is an area I need to work on. I mean, really, how long would it really take if I just out it away when it's done?? Prob 10 min!...and yet....
- I want to live in a trailer. I know, weird...I used to HATE trailers. In fact, I told Jimmy when we began dating that trailers were not for me, I only wanted a house. Now, I'm in a house, that doesn't belong to me, and I just hope and pray for a time when Jimmy and I can own a trailer. A double wide...with 3 or 4 bedrooms and 2 bath...with a cute little kitchen and a little dining room with fake wooden floors and one of those little sheds on the side of it...It's amazing how much your perspective can change when you realize how much you really DON'T need in life.
- I compare myself to people...but not in the "I should be more like them" way, but in the "I'm so glad I'm not like them" way. It's very conceited and not very nice at all. Even if the person (usually another woman) is thinner than me, neater than me, or prettier than me, I always find a way to be better than them in my mind. I don't even try hard, something just usually pops into my mind without any effort at all. This is something I need to be more mindful of and be careful to not dwell on. GOD needs to change this in me...
-Facebook is annoyingly addictive...I like FarmTown A lot...too much, in fact...
-I deactivated my FB account because I felt very harassed yesterday and sometimes you just need to step away from the drama of it all and leave it behind!
- There are times in my life when I wake up and just want to lay on the couch all day and watch TV...
- There are times in my life when I feel so overwhelmed by the amount of people that want to visit me, talk to me, text with me, and ask my advice on things. Sometimes I just want to run away so my mind can just be still and I don't have to make plans with ANYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- It hurts my feelings when someone texts me and asks if they can visit, or I can come visit them, and I have to tell them "no" for one reason or another and they swing a "text 'tude" on me and reply "k" or "oh" or worse, don't answer. It makes me feel that I'm only good enough when I'm at their beck and call...
- It hurts my feelings when I express myself in a sad way in a status and I'm told to "suck it up" or "get over it", especially because it's not all that often, and it's usually about my dead parents
- I hate being an orphan
-I'm sorry if those last three sounded whiny. They really weren't meant to be and since you can't see or hear the emotion behind this I can see how one would think that was me being a whiny baby
- Sometimes I cancel plans because I have legitimately made myself sick over the prospect of having to go out and do something. Yes, I'm an extrovert, but sometimes, sometimes I am indeed introverted.
- I hate answering my cell phone
-I hate answering my door
- Well, I guess that's it...
Monday, March 25, 2013
Grocery Shopping
Why is it that grocery shopping is so tiresome and boring?
I am sooooo not one of those people that enjoys it. I get no pleasure from it, whatsoever! I am not really into couponing. I've watched the Extreme Coupon shows and while they are entertaining I have no interest in stockpiling enough deodorant for Anya and my next 6 children to use from the time they get smelly armpits until their 57th birthdays. It's just not me...plus all that sorting, clipping, list making, running to different stores...To quote the "famous" noteworthy woman, Sweetie Brown: " AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!!
Honestly, I do use a couple of coupons here and there but I am in no way a coupon-aholic! haha!
I do need to come up with a better system for my meals. I don't need to plan a month in advance, but I do need to have some sort of idea each day what to make that evening. That will help me to eliminate the urge to order a pizza or pop over to Wendy's because I'm too tired to think up a recipe...
Meanwhile, I have to go to Shop Rite tonight...I'm tired and bored at the thought of it already...UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Groan...double groan.....sigh...
I am sooooo not one of those people that enjoys it. I get no pleasure from it, whatsoever! I am not really into couponing. I've watched the Extreme Coupon shows and while they are entertaining I have no interest in stockpiling enough deodorant for Anya and my next 6 children to use from the time they get smelly armpits until their 57th birthdays. It's just not me...plus all that sorting, clipping, list making, running to different stores...To quote the "famous" noteworthy woman, Sweetie Brown: " AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!!
Honestly, I do use a couple of coupons here and there but I am in no way a coupon-aholic! haha!
I do need to come up with a better system for my meals. I don't need to plan a month in advance, but I do need to have some sort of idea each day what to make that evening. That will help me to eliminate the urge to order a pizza or pop over to Wendy's because I'm too tired to think up a recipe...
Meanwhile, I have to go to Shop Rite tonight...I'm tired and bored at the thought of it already...UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Groan...double groan.....sigh...
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